Lazy people bug me. Like, fork-on-teeth, nails-on-chalkboard, sandpaper-on-skin bug me.
With so little time in our lives, wasting time just seems, well, like a waste of time. I hardly watch TV for this reason. I’m a horrible napper as well. On the very rare occasion that I take a nap, I wake up cranky and annoyed that I spent time napping, instead of doing something else.
I’ve been thinking about lazy people a lot this week, I guess mainly because I live with a teenager, and there’s nothing lazier than a teenager. At least nothing lazier than the one that lives with me!
As I already told you, she has absolutely zero problem sitting in front of the TV all. day. long. watching mindless television. And then, to top it off, she is just too dang lazy to fix herself anything REAL to eat, so she hoovers down a whole bag of chips, or eats a whole Hershey chocolate bar left over from camping, and calls it a day’s worth of food. If I don’t leave her a specific list of chores to take care of for the day, she does absolutely nothing around the house. Then if I DO leave her a list of chores, they are done with as little effort as possible, with the only focus on being able to say she had done them.
For example, I asked her to dust the living room the other day and then later, I looked in at the console table and I could literally see that she, yes, had in fact dusted it. The only problem was, that she didn’t move anything off of the table to dust it, so there was the clean part, where she wiped, and then there was the dusty part, that sat under and around every item on the table. So, I call her over to where I’m sitting in the dining room and ask her if she dusted the living room earlier, to which she replied that she had. I then have her look over into the living room at the table and asked her what she saw. She saw what I saw, which, I guess is a good sign. But then she says, slightly annoyed, and I quote, “Do you want me to do it again?” Do I want you to do it again?
NO. I do NOT want you to do it AGAIN. I want everyone to see the crappy job you did, in fact, I’m going to point it out to everyone who walks through our door. Don’t worry, I didn’t actually say that. What I said was: What I WANT is for you to do it RIGHT the first time, but if you can’t manage to do it right the FIRST time, I will be happy to let you do it a second, or third, or fourth time. As many times as it takes to do the job correctly. It’s dusting for GAWD’s sake. Not brain surgery. I think you are capable of dusting, you are just LAZY. Do I get another sticker on my ‘Good Mom Star Chart’?
Then, as I was driving down the highway yesterday, I see this girl standing on the sidewalk wearing a sign. She had clearly been hired by Oil Can Henry’s to get the attention of passersby, to bring in more business. You know, the people that have become so prevalent on the sidewalk that you almost don’t notice them anymore?
Well, I noticed her. The reason that I noticed her is that she was doing this ‘spirit fingers‘ thing, but if you read the definition of spirit fingers in Urban Dictionary, and read the ‘if done wrong’ part, yeah, that’s what this girl was doing. The ‘done wrong’ version of spirit fingers. Limp, sad, timid little wiggles of her fingers and hands. She was probably scaring away business. If I was the boss, I’d say she either needs to find a bit of enthusiasm for the job she was hired to do, or she has to go, but that wasn’t actually my first thought. My FIRST thought was, that is the kind of effort that my daughter would put into the job.
While it’s comforting to know that being lazy just comes naturally to teenagers, as the mom, and as a person who can’t stand lazy people, I know that it’s my endless, exhausting job to continue the battle of conquering laziness and half efforts, so that someday she will just naturally do things right the first time. I don’t expect to win the battle today. Or even this year. I just have to muster up the energy to continue the fight. And I need to stock the wine refrigerator, because school’s going to start Tuesday, and I have a feeling I’m going to need back up to get through the year.