Es ist Oktober Fest, und ich habe nichts anzuziehen!


Photo by Jeff Boerio. He posted this on WeatherBug from last night. Magnificent!

We had the most magnificent lightening storm last night.  The air was crackly and the world outside my bedroom window would light up in a blinding flash or streak, followed by low, long rumbling of thunder. My little Yorkie, Edith, had no idea what was going on, but she knew it was something to bark at. She went running down the hallway several times, bravely barking, but never got up the courage to go outside to see what was making all of those noises. As the storm continued for quite awhile, I missed out on quite a bit of sleep. It’s good thing there’s coffee. Now, the air is grey and heavy, but my weather app tells me that it’ll be 90 degrees today. Hello humidity. I am thankful to have air-conditioning.

Okay, I need to talk about something serious for a minute. I’m sorry if you aren’t here for serious, but it’s something that I’ve got to do.

I was invited to an Oktober Fest party and I have nothing to wear. Don’t laugh. This is serious.  Authentic German food and drink will be consumed and I know that the hostess, Lindi, will be in authentic German attire. Me? I don’t even have a German Shepard I could bring.  Not even a stuffed animal one. And what does authentic German attire look like? Well, all I can come up with in my head is Swiss Family Robison or Sound of Music wear. Am I close? Thank you, Google for existing. Wait. I just Googled. Was Snow White German? I feel like she must have been because this looks like something Snow White would wear. I really was not far off in my Sound of Music thought process.

Searching through these photos is quite confusing though, as there are so many choices. There’s Sexy Dirndl, which I’m sure is how all of the German’s dressed, historically. I mean, after eating the substantial German fare that they ate, I’m sure that they felt like sex kittens. Besides, your cleavage is the perfect spot to put one of those German sausages. Then your hands are free for beer. I may have to pass on this option, as I would need to go and get some cleavage inducing surgeroldtimedirndly and although I am not apposed to the idea, I hadn’t really planned on spending that much money on this party.

Next is what I call, ‘Old Time Drindl’, which is an example of how people dressed for Oktober Fest celebrations BEFORE we got so crazy and commercialized everything. Back when sausages were hand made, not cut out of a plastic package and before there was a Hallmark moment for every single life event. Things were simpler then, black and white TV and four channels to choose from, if the antennae were aimed just right.

Then there is Vintage Drindl, which are REAL drindls that have survived the test of time. From the era of actually hand sewing on your buttons. Before you could purchase sauerkraut in a jar.  Far more modest, much less sex kitten.  Of course if you buy one of these, you have to sign a document that says you will wash these drindls on a scrub board, just to maintain their authenticity.  And so they don’t fall apart. They are older than your granny.

I actually have quite a large German following on my blog here (and I brag about you all the time!), so maybe you all could help a sister out. Point me in the right direction. Better yet, just let me borrow one of yours. I promise not to spill beer on it. I don’t even drink beer. You DO have a drindl, don’t you? I mean, I would think that it’s a requirement of being German. Kind of like owning pilgrim attire is a requirement of being American.

While you’re helping me out with the drindl, I’m going to be working on solving the next world crisis, which is: What kind of shoe does one wear with a drindl? So much research and so many decisions. It’s a good thing that I have until October to get this whole thing worked out. Wait. What do you mean Oktoberfest is not in October? What kind of sense does THAT make? Crazy Germans. No wonder I’ve never celebrated Oktober Fest before. I’ve always been a month behind schedule.



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