Socially Awkward

I woke up today, ready to get writing here, and… stop the world. We’re out of coffee. How can this have been allowed to happen? The only thing worse would be if we were out of wine, but you can relax on that one. I checked the wine refrigerator. We’re good there, until at least next month. Unless I have a rough day at work.  Clearly, Alice (that’s what I affectionately call our housekeeper), needs a little talking to about setting priorities. There were also dishes in the sink this morning and the fridge is in desperate need of being cleaned out. Maybe if I started paying her, she’d do a better job? I guess she thinks she can get away with anything, since she shares a bed with the man of the house. <Sigh>. Now I’m drinking tea, so there is no tellcoffeeing how this post is going to go. My daughter has assured me that it’s not an authentic blog post unless I offend one or more people. I’m not sure I can do that drinking tea, one pinkie in the air, typing in a British accent. Don’t get me wrong, I love tea, but tea is not coffee and coffee is my morning drink.

My Twitter feed was trying to help me out with my coffee issue with this Tweet from @Women Of History: “If you can’t be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you’ve escaped”, but it’s difficult to be thankful for escaping a warm cozy bed where two dogs were snuggled up to you to face a world with no coffee. I barely made it out alive, it was touch and go. But, I had to pee. That will motivate a girl. Thanks for nothing, Twitter. At least I understood that Tweet. Sometimes I look at my Twitter feed and can’t figure out what the heck is going on. Does anyone else have this issue? It’s like a different language. I need Rosetta Stone.

Back in the MySpace days, it was easy to figure out what was going on, plus it was all personalized, which taught you a lot about your friends. Nothing speaks more clearly than a crazy patterned background with your favorite song embedded into your page and forty different fonts in different colors. It was easy to tell who had issues. Then FaceBook came along and all the cool kids jumped ship, leaving MySpace with lots of empty space.

FaceBook has it’s own crazy though, what with the Candy Crush and Farm Ville. I am always super excited when I see a FaceBook friend has hit a high score on Candy Crush. I have no idea what all of the excitement is all about, I’ve never played those games, but everyone likes to be a winner. And to get ribbons. And trophies. And gold stars.

Now, there are so many social media sites that if I tried to name them, I’d surely miss a few. We are lonely girls living in a socially networked world. Thank you Cyndi Lauper for that awkward inspiration.

Speaking of awkward and social networks, did you know that there is such a thing as Catster? You can set up profiles for your kitties and they can meet kitty friends online and they can send their kitty friends virtual treats and PawMail. Your kitty might even be chosen to be featured as Cat of the Day. I am not making this stuff up, check it out. Today’s featured kitty is Blacknose. It’s a 13 year old American Shorthair out of Crawfordville, Florida.

Your first thought might be, ‘Who takes the time to create a social networking page for their kitty?’ but I think, given all of the information I just gave you, the real question is, who names their cat Blacknose? Really? We’ve graduated from bullying people, so now we’ve moved on to making fun of animals? Or maybe they just aren’t creative. I could have offered better, less offensive or less boring names. I think Four Paws and a Tail sounds better. Or Sir-Purrs-A-Lot. You see why my friends are not asking me to help name their kids? Well, that and since none of them are babies, most of my friends’ kids already have names.

A quick Google search and it’s easy to discover that Petworking (yes, they ARE called that) sites are all the rage. We have some really proud, bored, pet owners out there. If you are one of them, I applaud your dedication to your pet and your ability to find ANYTHING to do that isn’t laundry or playing Candy Crush. I understand your dislike of laundry and your pet love. I considered for two seconds, creating pages for my pooches on Dogster, but Ernie is a bit of an introvert and both dogs are gluten free, so they couldn’t enjoy the virtual treats. I instead, decided to put my fern on Plantster, he’s quite social and doesn’t have any allergies, but I was shocked to see that this site does not exist. I think I might have just found my next billion dollar idea.

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4 thoughts on “Socially Awkward

    • I only THINK I am funny… and then you go and reinforce my beliefs. A monster is being created. Thank you for your comment & I hope you didn’t spit coffee out your nose laughing. Coffee is in short supply around here ;)

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